Land of hope and story

It is Monday and, as of this morning, word is that the truck has not yet arrived at the border. Not a lot has changed really. We live in hope as the story changes constantly.

Well, the electricians who said they would come today to start work on the power points and air conditioner installation have not yet arrived and the guys who are sorting out the internet cabling at both houses came this morning and hope to have something done by the end of the week.

However, we have sourced a generator and the air conditioners and someone to install it all .... it remains a matter of when. They came on Saturday to talk about it and have said the end of the week. A lot seems to be happening at the end of the week. A lot or nothing.

Greg's office receptionist, Monica is getting married on Saturday. Saturday is wedding day in Malawi and the festivities begin early no doubt because of the heat. The wedding will be at Kauma City Wide Assemblies of God church at 8.30a.m. with a reception at Kauma Primary School from 13.00p.m. Unless we have a container at the door on Saturday morning we will be there.

The wedding invitation is blue, with a small blue ribbon and photos of the happy couple. It says:

Two lives, two hearts joined together in friendship united forever in love. It is with joy that the Maziya family of Khanganya Vge, T/A Kamenya Gwaza, Dedza and the Mombera family of Ndadzadala, Vge, T/A Nsabwe, Thyolo request the honour of your presence.

At the bottom it says:

'He who finds a wife, finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord.' Proverbs: 18:22.

One presumes that the same applies to a She finding a husband but in the misogynistic biblical days women did not get much of a look-in and gender equality remains something of a novelty in much of the world including Africa.

From what I have seen of the photography sessions at Buchanan's on a Saturday, Malawi brides seem to favour the 'white meringue' look which is so traditional in the West. And they do look gorgeous. The one difference is that a lot of the men wear white as well. Smart white suits seem to be traditional wedding gear for men in Malawi.

And, Andrew just tells me that the air conditioning people have arrived. They said Monday; it is Monday and the time is 1.41p.m. I am impressed. Something I was told would happen has happened.

More importantly, the frangipani tree in the garden of the house we will move into looks set to blossom soon. These divine flowers symbolise protection and nurturing and are wonderfully appropriate for weddings.

Then again, I carried lilac for my wedding. My aunt Jessie gave me a bunch to carry on the day. We were getting married on the cheap and I hadn't budgeted for flowers but the beautiful purple lilac suited my burgundy outfit and I have loved them ever since.

I didn't want to wear the traditional white. Probably because we couldn't afford it and so I opted for something I could wear later: burgundy blouse, long skirt, big burgundy hat and lace-up black patent leather boots. The only thing I did wear again was the boots.

But I never regretted not having a 'meringue moment.' It was not me and I was more than happy with the way we celebrated our commitment to each other. When the lilac is in blossom I only ever have fond memories.

We have a number of trees in the garden at the farm; flowering as I write to herald the Spring. The lilac symbolises Love so, without even knowing it, the flowers my aunt chose were perfect.

Not that frangipani would grow in the Adelaide Hills anyway but they do grow here in Malawi, like weeds and of course they grow well in other parts of Australia where winters are not so frosty.

The frangipani is also symbolic of love and its oil is said to ease anxiety, fear, insomnia or tremors... things not uncommon around the wedding day. I didn't really have much time to think about getting married; we were determined not to do the traditional thing in terms of months of agonising preparation.

We set a date, two weeks ahead, on a Friday night after work. It was one of the better weddings I have ever been to although I didn't think that at 4a.m. as we walked around our house looking for something to eat.

Our wedding guests had eaten us out of house and home including the wedding cake and the icing and probably some of them were drunk enough to eat the plastic decoration. We found glasses sitting on fences days later along South Terrace where we lived.

Unfortunately our friends also drank the three bottles of French champagne we had received as a wedding present.  We were all so young, barely into our twenties and discretion was not a part of the vocabulary.

The champers had been pretty much our only wedding presents because we had, perhaps foolishly, said ' no gifts,' not wanting to be landed with things we did not like. Then again, having absolutely nothing, it was only later we realised that having things one does not particularly like can be better than nothing at all. I do also vaguely remember a fold-up chinese table which has disappeared from the possessions long ago - something we did not like but which served a valuable purpose for a few years anyway.

There was more than one who 'didn't think it would work,' and I'm not sure either of us were convinced but there you go. I do believe there is a lot of luck, fate or destiny involved in marriages which last.... yes, you have to do the work but that in itself is no gaurantee of anything.

At the age of twenty-one I told myself if it didn't work I would leave. The naievete of youth where we have no comprehension of what marriage will mean, particularly when children are involved.

And of course, that was a view which would have been inconceivable for my parents or grandparents. It was probably fairly controversial for anyone then and  for some even now but it did make me feel better to think that marriage did not have to be forever. I don't think I even thought about forever; it just seemed the sensible thing to do at the time. Living together is common today but it was not in 1970.

I do vividly recall feeling horrified, at the age of 21, at the prospect of being married for ten years and yet it all passed so easily and I grew up, that by the time we got to ten it seemed hardly anytime at all and twenty and thirty came and went in the same simple manner. As did forty. We really do live a succession of moments; a never-ending sequence of Now.

I only hope that Monica and her man enjoy their wedding as much as we did and get to celebrate a Ruby wedding anniversary in 40 years from Saturday.